Post-Valentine's Day Dissection
So maybe your Valentine's Day sucked. Or maybe you had a romantic evening with roses, champagne and chocolates (in which case, I don't want to hear about it). But just in case you're moping, thinking that you had the worst V-Day and you're definitely going to die alone, allow me to present some "advice" (stories actually) that will show you it could have been worse.
Helpful Valentine's Day-esque points for men (aka things to note if you want to date me or my friends):
1) if you meet a girl, and you're chatting and exchanging emails/IMing, sending her a message that you've met someone else is a fine way to break things off. However, if you're telling her that you have a serious relationship with someone else only six days after hitting on her, something is wrong. NEVER finish the email with: 'maybe if it doesn't work out with her I'll give you a call'. Ah, so you have occasional doubts about your six day love affair? Good luck with that "relationship" and DO NOT send me another email. Block/Delete.
2) if you're separated from your wife, you're still married. This is NOT the same thing as single. Move along please.
3) you should not be wearing any of the following: a Hawaiian shirt, socks with sandals (in February), tight pants, leather pants, or tight leather pants.
4) wanting a girl who has life goals is excellent. It's unfortunate (from the girl's point of view) that the closest thing to ambition you ever displayed was your burning desire to judge the next Ms. White T-Shirt contest. Block/Delete.
5) don't mention your mom and dad every five minutes of our date. And move out of their house - you're 30-something and it's NOT sexy.
Hopefully these tragic scenarios will never apply to you. I wish I could say they were hypothetical...but sadly, they're all true (though they didn't all happen to me). So married or single, action or lack thereof, your Valentine's day could always have been worse!
Thanks to yoga and Ms.Fantastic my Valentine's day included stretching and Bellinis. Not bad at all.
Helpful Valentine's Day-esque points for men (aka things to note if you want to date me or my friends):
1) if you meet a girl, and you're chatting and exchanging emails/IMing, sending her a message that you've met someone else is a fine way to break things off. However, if you're telling her that you have a serious relationship with someone else only six days after hitting on her, something is wrong. NEVER finish the email with: 'maybe if it doesn't work out with her I'll give you a call'. Ah, so you have occasional doubts about your six day love affair? Good luck with that "relationship" and DO NOT send me another email. Block/Delete.
2) if you're separated from your wife, you're still married. This is NOT the same thing as single. Move along please.
3) you should not be wearing any of the following: a Hawaiian shirt, socks with sandals (in February), tight pants, leather pants, or tight leather pants.
4) wanting a girl who has life goals is excellent. It's unfortunate (from the girl's point of view) that the closest thing to ambition you ever displayed was your burning desire to judge the next Ms. White T-Shirt contest. Block/Delete.
5) don't mention your mom and dad every five minutes of our date. And move out of their house - you're 30-something and it's NOT sexy.
Hopefully these tragic scenarios will never apply to you. I wish I could say they were hypothetical...but sadly, they're all true (though they didn't all happen to me). So married or single, action or lack thereof, your Valentine's day could always have been worse!
Thanks to yoga and Ms.Fantastic my Valentine's day included stretching and Bellinis. Not bad at all.
posted by Lisa at
5:02 p.m.
2 Comments:
oh, and by the way, if it's been only 2 dates, and you want a third date, never tell the girl you're just not that into her (aka "I'm not head over heels for you").
By
Lisa, at 10:38 p.m.
If I may add some detail to some of your points.
I ONLY wrote back to that guy to be nice. "Thanks for the message" kind of deal, you know? And he writes back, "I met someone... Maybe I'll message you again if things don't work out". I wasn't even THAT interested, but Happy V-day to me, now I feel like a crappy, but "solid" second place. Block/Delete is right.
This follows on Monday's declaration (from another guy) that I was "the closest thing to a Valentine" he had, so we should go for dinner. Not "I like you", but "you're the closest".
My Valentine's Day included stretching and Bellinis; unfortunately it also included me coming home in the cold, alone, putting on my iPod, and treating my neigbours to a bitter Kelly Clarkson singalong. Funny, I'm the one who wants to move.
By
Shannon, at 5:38 p.m.
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